I just didn’t need another kid at this point in my life. So when Denicio Barbier invited me to dinner just so she could tell me to my face that she was pregnant and the kid is mine I freaked out, pushed her out of my way, jumped in my car and headed straight to Gerald Ford airport, book a flight to Switzerland, and went to gate D-12 to wait for my international flight to freedom.
I stopped by the vending machine for a cold coke and Frito Lay chips before finding a quiet cozy spot near the panoramic picture window to watch the planes taking off and landing. My BlackBerry vibrated faster than a dildo in a porn flick and every time I glanced at the caller ID it read “Denicio Barbier”. I grew frantically paranoid thinking that perhaps she’d followed me and was now on her way to gate D-12.
(heartbeat)
“We are now boarding for Flight 932 to Denver Colorado! Please line up at gate D-13!” (cont)